Monday, March 5, 2012

Negative Nancies

If there's one thing I've learned in my 40+ years on this earth is that life doesn't hand us what we want, life hands us what we expect.  And language like "always" and "never" are some of the most self-defeating ways to think of things.  Because if your thought is that you "always get in the line that moves the slowest", guess what?  You WILL always get in the the slow-moving lines!  If you think and post that you "always meet losers on dating sites" you WILL draw those people to you because it's what you're expecting. 

I'm not saying that we all need to put on the rose-colored glasses and walk around with our heads in a Pollyanna cloud, but if we can have a different expectation--from life, from people--perhaps it can lead to more better days than bad days.  How about just trying it as an experiment?  Say you go home tonight and want to discuss (for the 28th time) with your significant other about clothes going in the hamper instead of on the hamper.  And say that instead of thinking "Oh, I'm sure I'll get the same response I always get," you try, just TRY to think of a different response and thinking of that different response, you EXPECT a different response.  How wonderful will it feel to have a conversation that moves forward instead of getting stalled at the same point it has in the past?? 

The energy with which we approach our interactions affects those with whom we're having those interactions. So for a week, experiment with the idea of a different expectation. I'd love to hear how it goes!