Inspiration

I often get inspired by reading other blogs.  Today I read a blog post by someone who listed the things she loved, in no particular order, and it was such a beautiful, touching, and funny list that it inspired me to think about the things I love--the things that make me happy.

In no particular order, I love:

My niece Brianna.

My nephew Brandon.

Sunrises and sunsets.

The smell of fresh cut grass.

Loving characters so much in a book I ache for them when bad things happen.

Hugs.

My brothers.

My sisters.

My mom.

Knowing that if everything fell apart in my life, I'd have the most amazing support group to help me back up.

Sheldon Cooper. :)

Banana cake with cream cheese frosting.

The color purple. (Not the movie or book, although I love those, too.)

Living in Colorado.

Colorado's breathtaking beauty.

Homemade tortillas.

The smell of orange blossoms.

My legs.

The ocean.

Road trips.

The Oatmeal.

Pedicures.

Tattoos.

Being to-the-bone exhausted and finally being able to crawl into bed with a happy sigh.

That light bulb moment when I finally understand a concept that had eluded me before.

Rainbows.

Music so beautiful it makes me cry.

Elvis Presley.

Cookouts.

Board games.

The smell of a man wearing Curve Crush.

Roller coasters and thrill rides.

Sleeping in.

Dancing.

Thanks for the inspiration, Ree!

What I would tell my 18-year-old self

I was out with a friend today and we were having a fabulous conversation (as we always do) and I thought of a question one of my coworkers likes to ask people she meets. She often asks them, "What would you tell your 18-year-old self?"  It's a fascinating and intriguing question. I posed it to my friend today at the coffee shop and we both took turns answering. Here's what I would tell myself at 18: you're more amazing than you think. You have so much to give the world.  It's okay to be hurt--the hurt won't destroy you and you will learn to be happy again. Take more risks.

At 18 I remember myself thinking I was nothing special. That i had nothing to offer the world. I was really depressed after I turned 18. I think I would tell myself that it gets better. That life can be fun and that you will feel happy again. And maybe, most importantly, I would tell myself at 18: it's all going to be all right. Stop worrying and enjoy your life. LIVE your life.

It also makes me realize that I'm so glad I'm at *this* point in my life. I'm so glad that I've been on the journey that I have and it has culminated at me being at exactly this point at exactly this time.

What does it all mean?

I'm trying desperately hard to not go into "men suck" mode, but they sure as hell have been disappointing me lately.  I keep going back to what my friend has told me about the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and I happen to agree with her. If a guy really and truly wants to be with someone, he will.  No ifs ands or buts about it.  Being philosophical about it helps a bit. I'm telling myself that I don't want people in my life who do that and it's a good thing that I'm finally standing up for what I want. It just leaves me feeling alone and lonely. I despair of there not being anyone else on the horizon.  Of being alone.  I guess I'll just have to learn how to do single and solo and still be happy.