Tuesday, April 2, 2013

B is for Better

Today is a better day. It's cloudy and gloomy right now, but talking things over with my patience-of-a-saint boyfriend has brought some sunshine nonetheless.

There are some aspects about myself I appreciate and like. There are others, however, that I hate. The worst of these is my extreme lack of self-confidence. When I'm in severe self-doubt mode, I act irrationally. It almost feels as though my emotional maturity got stunted somewhere and I don't have tools to know how to talk things out and make my feelings known in an open, honest way.

Others say they see progress from where I was a year ago. I just don't see it myself--especially when I have bad days like Monday. I'm not sure where to go from here. I know I can't rely on anyone else for my confidence. I know the need for constant reassurance can get tedious for even the most patient of people. I don't know where to go from here. I'm looking for tools to help me feel better about myself. I know where I want to go, I just don't have the map yet.

8 comments:

  1. Ahh- we can all be better. It is a never ending process!

    (Stopping by from the A to Z Challenge)

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  2. You need a joke too- unfortunately I'm not as clever as your niece. I hope the week gets better as it goes on!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and wanting to give me a joke. I'm doing much better, thanks. I hope you are as well. Happy blogging!

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  3. Writing is one tool for sorting through your feelings. So, it seems to me you're on the right path. You're making the effort. That's what counts.

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    1. Thanks. I am finding writing to be quite helpful and putting it out on a blog is a way to stay truthful and accountable. If I also happen to strike a chord with someone else, so much the better. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. :)

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  4. Is seeing a counselor and option? And I agree with Susie that writing can help. Try a private journal where you write down specific situations that made you uncomfortable or upset, then write out how you felt and how you reacted. I hope you're able to work through things. :-)

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    1. Amanda, thank you so much! I love your suggestion of writing down specific situations. A tip I got from a website (yes, I actually googled "how to increase self esteem) said something similar about writing a particular situation down that didn't go well, but finding five things that you did right. Thank you for the comment and reading the post. :)

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  5. You all are so awesome! Thank you for the support and suggestions. I'm touched that you took the time to read and respond. :)

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