Today is a better day. It's cloudy and gloomy right now, but talking things over with my patience-of-a-saint boyfriend has brought some sunshine nonetheless.
There are some aspects about myself I appreciate and like. There are others, however, that I hate. The worst of these is my extreme lack of self-confidence. When I'm in severe self-doubt mode, I act irrationally. It almost feels as though my emotional maturity got stunted somewhere and I don't have tools to know how to talk things out and make my feelings known in an open, honest way.
Others say they see progress from where I was a year ago. I just don't see it myself--especially when I have bad days like Monday. I'm not sure where to go from here. I know I can't rely on anyone else for my confidence. I know the need for constant reassurance can get tedious for even the most patient of people. I don't know where to go from here. I'm looking for tools to help me feel better about myself. I know where I want to go, I just don't have the map yet.
Ahh- we can all be better. It is a never ending process!
ReplyDelete(Stopping by from the A to Z Challenge)
You need a joke too- unfortunately I'm not as clever as your niece. I hope the week gets better as it goes on!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and wanting to give me a joke. I'm doing much better, thanks. I hope you are as well. Happy blogging!
DeleteWriting is one tool for sorting through your feelings. So, it seems to me you're on the right path. You're making the effort. That's what counts.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I am finding writing to be quite helpful and putting it out on a blog is a way to stay truthful and accountable. If I also happen to strike a chord with someone else, so much the better. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. :)
DeleteIs seeing a counselor and option? And I agree with Susie that writing can help. Try a private journal where you write down specific situations that made you uncomfortable or upset, then write out how you felt and how you reacted. I hope you're able to work through things. :-)
ReplyDeleteAmanda, thank you so much! I love your suggestion of writing down specific situations. A tip I got from a website (yes, I actually googled "how to increase self esteem) said something similar about writing a particular situation down that didn't go well, but finding five things that you did right. Thank you for the comment and reading the post. :)
DeleteYou all are so awesome! Thank you for the support and suggestions. I'm touched that you took the time to read and respond. :)
ReplyDelete