Thursday, April 11, 2013

J is for Jumping (to conclusions)

I tend to do that a lot. Jump to conclusions, or what a therapist called "awful-izing". In the absence of answers (and I'm one who needs to know ALL THE THINGS), I tend to jump to the worst conclusion from the facts at hand.

Example: My boyfriend is having a bad day. Like many men who have bad days he retreats and withdraws. My first instinct is to jump to the conclusion that because he's not being talkative that it is because of something I've said. Or not said. Or done. Or not done. And from there it spirals and the next thing you know, in my mind he's ready to call it quits. (I know, I know...but sometimes my "crazygirl" takes over.)

There are MANY things that are "wrong" with my approach. 1) I have no evidence it was anything I said or did. 2) He hasn't told me it was anything I said or did. 3) NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME. 4) I'm being quite selfish. Instead of concentrating on him and his needs, it sounds like a rehearsal for the flippin' opera over on my end. "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!! Let's talk some more about ME! Enough about YOU how 'bout ME?"

Thankfully I have good support and friends around me who can whap me upside the head with the truth about how I'm acting (or over-reacting). And on my good days I can talk myself through it and know that instead of relaxing about things, I'm letting my insecurities win.

So today, I choose to believe all is well, and I have no reason to NOT believe this. Instead of making up stories in the absence of answers, I choose to accept and know that all is well, and all is well and all manner of thing shall be well.


  1. I think we all do that from time to time. I know I do.

  2. It's nice to know I'm not alone when I jump off the deep end (conclusion-wise). Happy blogging, Kellie! :)


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