Alone is how I'm feeling right now. That could be because I've spent most of the day by myself in my house. I ventured outside briefly for a walk to try to clear my head.
I'm in a committed relationship with a man I love so much, it doesn't seem possible. I never knew I could love someone this much who wasn't related to me by blood.
So why this feeling of alone? I'm sure part of it is the distance between us. He in Ireland and I in Colorado. There is a seven-hour time difference between us which makes timing an issue in our communication. Acutely so. We don't get to share those small moments in our lives that some couples take for granted--perhaps even find boring. We can't sit across the dinner table and discuss our days. We have snippets of conversation.
The distance is difficult. Some days are worse than others. Today was a bad day. Coming on the heels of yet another holiday spent apart. I took things personally that were not meant as such. And I lashed out in my hurt.
What I do know is that I love this man more than anything. I want to be the best person I can be because of him. I know I fall short of that mark sometimes. And I pray that I don't scare him away when I have days like today.
I've been there - although, not quite that much distance:) Hang in there and look forward to those moments you can spend together - nothing truly worthwhile and meaningful is easy.
ReplyDeleteI keep reminding myself of that when things get tough. "No one ever said this would be easy. And it's worth it." Because it REALLY REALLY is. Thanks for the comment and the encouragement.
DeleteFor 18 months before we married my husband and I communicated long distance from the U.S. to Greece. Our written communiques shared our hearts and hopes. We really got to know each other! I am thankful now for those months, though at the time it was lonely. The love you share is worth overcoming the challenges of distance.
ReplyDeleteHi Pam! You're absolutely right...what we have is SO worth the challenges. I just miss him so much and miss those things that I loved when we did get to be together. Dinners together, snuggling on the couch and watching TV and movies, even going to the store with him was fun. And I know I just have to patient. Sadly, not one of my strong suits. :)
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