I had one of those blow-to-the-gut moments a few weeks ago. I sent an email to someone I hadn't talked to in a while, but he had been heavy on my mind lately and when that happens for no particular reason, I think it's life trying to tell you something, so I sent the email. I got an email from my service provider telling me that it bounced back because my IP address has been blocked as spam. It hurt, I will admit. This is someone with whom I have had such amazing conversations and who was extremely integral in my personal growth these past three years. I'm upset that this person may be gone from my life forever. We had always had one of those correspondences where we could not email or chat for months, and then pick up right where we left off. I was hoping it would be the same this time.
When I make a connection with someone, it's difficult for me to end that connection. It doesn't happen often for me and those people who I've bared my soul to aren't easy to let go. The older I've gotten the more I realize endings are just part of life. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
I try to find some comfort in in being philosophical. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."(Ahhh, the philosophy of Semisonic.) But there is still sadness; I am still mourning the loss of connection and friendship. Also, this isn't one of the most painful of endings. At least I can wish this person health and happiness and hope good things happen for him.
May your endings be few and as pain-free as possible.