Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I is for Insecure

I wish I were a more secure person.  I want to be bold and brave. I want to have the confidence that I am enough. That I am worthy; that I am lovable. At the moment, I believe none of those. I know seeking that validation outside myself is not the way to go.  No matter how many times I am told by others that I am enough, that I am worthy, that I am lovable, I don't believe it.  And until I believe it to the depths of my soul I will keep needing that validation.  And I've learned from experience that someone else can not be your self esteem nor can you be theirs. 

So how does one get to that point of believing herself good enough, pretty enough, interesting enough? Because I know there is a vicious circle happening.  I don't feel good, pretty, or interesting enough so I subconsciously exude that insecurity and people are put off by that which in turn I deem as proof of all my failings. This struggle feels like a roller coaster ride: up and down.  I have good days, bad days, sometimes I'll even have great days.  I'm working toward having more good and great days. I am realistic enough to know that it will require work and that wishing and hoping things were different won't make it so. The struggle at the moment is the "how". What can I do to help things along?  I guess I keep trying. I will keep seeking.

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.
Norman Vincent Peale


  1. *hugs* When I was in high school, I built myself from the inside out and outside in. I know that sounds weird, but I would say things like this to appease: Okay, I'm good at drawing, I'm good at writing, singing, dancing... (I know, pretty shallow, but it sure helped when I felt yay small!)
    I built myself up from the inside by saying, "I am loved by God--he has given me everything I need to bring about his work."

    Now, my confidence is much stronger now than as a teen. However, I do need to build confidence on aspects of my life like balancing my marketing time with writing time--that is so shot, I feel so frazzled. I need to find a way to work smarter not harder. Still a work in progress. *sigh*


    A to Z co-host

  2. Having just met you, my gut feeling is that you already are everything that you hope to be...but until you can convince yourself of that fact it really doesn't matter. It's hard to sell a great product if you don't believe in it. You have trust issues...but it's with yourself! It's only a matter of time before you see yourself as others do.

  3. I'm insecure too and don't have a lot of confidence in myself. And goodness! I'm 6Oish. :) 0ne day I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish then devoted myself to the steps it took. We all have to find our own way. Make your dreams come true--one at a time.

  4. True worth comes from within. Believe you are worthy and it won't matter what others think.
    And I really like the background of your blog!


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