Wednesday, April 11, 2012

J is for Judgemental

During this A to Z blogging event, I have decided to lay it all out there--warts and all. Today is one of those days.  Fellow bloggers, I have a confession.  I am judgmental.  This was pointed out to me by a therapist during one of our sessions where I was once again beating up on myself--not literally of course.  We talked more and she asked if I was tough on people and if I expected a lot from them. I do. She then said it was because I judged myself so harshly.  (I do.)  This is not something of which I'm proud.  I don't judge people on looks, status, or material things. I tend to think in terms like "If they'd only just do (fill in the blank) they wouldn't keep having such problems."  or "Why can't they see that what they're doing is WRONG WRONG WRONG??"  Ever since that relevatory moment in therapy, I have tried to be more compassionate.  I try to remember that everyone is going through their own struggles and that everyone is doing the very best they can with the tools they currently possess. And through all of this, it has allowed me to be kinder to myself. To realize that I don't need to judge myself so harshly either. 

To paraphrase (because I can't find the exact quote): We do the best we can at the time with the tools we have. When we know better, we do better.

I am trying to do better.

4 comments:

  1. great that you can admit it. few people will.

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  2. Hello, Fellow Challenger, from #401-Rockin'Chair Reflections! Just think of it as self-training. When you're judging, listen to your words, and then see how it helped/helps you. Sometimes, the mind answers our own questions while solving the problems of others. Don't be so hard on yourself. At least, you're not telling the people what they're doing wrong -- a whole different letter of the alphabet!

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  3. Ah, I think perhaps we are all judgmental to a degree. Sometimes we judge ourselves more harshly than we do others. Interesting post. Best regards to you. Ruby

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