Y is for Yes

I have been a nay-sayer most of my life. Not to other people. I'm usually the one cheering people on and telling them "Of course it's possible!"  However, in my own life, I am the first to think of the million reasons why something won't work.  I say "no" before I ever let the idea of "yes" enter my mind.  I think I have done this as a way of avoiding disappointment. If I didn't expect anything at all, then there's no way I could be hurt, or disappointed, or disillusioned.  Except that was false thinking.  Saying no just kept me lonely, hurt, and fearful.

I have been trying to allow more "YES" into my life. Yes to possibility. Yes to believing. Yes to trusting. Yes to opening up. Yes to being vulnerable.  And to tell you the truth, it's scary as hell.  But I am also tired of living a fear-based life where every decision I make is made out of fear. Saying yes...allowing yes...is new and uncomfortable for me.  I am hoping this isn't always so.  I am hoping "yes" gets easier to do.  And even if I do say "no" to things that I know aren't right for me, it's still a kind of yes. It's saying "yes" to myself.