I once took a seminar where I learned that there are only three causes of any upset. 1) An unfulfilled expectation. 2) A thwarted intention. 3) An undelivered communication. In other words: You didn't get what you wanted. You didn't do what you wanted. You didn't say what you wanted.
My latest disappointment--a true upset--was all three of these. I would like to lay the blame at the feet of the person who I could say disappointed me. However, I need to own my share in the disappointment. I didn't have something happen that I wanted to happen. However, at some point I needed to communicate something to this person that I didn't. I needed to stand up for myself and stand up for how I deserve to be treated. I didn't. My intentions were thwarted because I had intended to practice speaking up and letting my needs be known with this person, but when the moment of truth arrived, I kept silent. I chose not rocking the boat over my needs.
I was also disappointed in myself because I didn't follow through what I wanted to do. However, I have regrouped, forgiven myself, and will try again. We are none of us perfect and sometimes we will not do what we intended. Sometimes we will take the path of least resistance and perhaps not stick up for ourselves. But we can dust off and try again. We can become stronger. We can say to ourselves: "I give myself permission to attempt this until I get it right."
What a very profound post! It gave me a lot of food for thought. Maybe some of my characters need a bit of disappointment every now and then. But as to why they get it... now I know. Thanks Mary :)
ReplyDeleteJemima, thank you so much for your kind words about my post. I am trying to be as honest with my personal truths as I can and if I happen to give someone something to think about, then so much the better! I appreciate you taking the time to comment and let me know what you thought.
DeleteGreat post! I'm often guilty of taking the path of least resistance - need to work on that.
ReplyDeleteWell, we all do the best we can at the time with the tools we have. When we know better, we can do better. We are all works in progress and we don't ever stop growing or learning until the end. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Delete"I give myself permission to attempt this until I get it right." Profound and wise words--it's all about the grace we grant ourselves and others around us, to take a deep breath and begin anew as often as we need too.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Mary!